I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
