Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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