I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
