oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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