lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
