ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
