Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
