I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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