Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
