I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
