I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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