I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
did you just send me my own nude
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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