So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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