The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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