So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize