I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
