Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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