Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
