JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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