I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
