her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
