4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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