I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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