I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
