She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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