Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
