im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize