I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
