is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
