similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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