I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
