This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
