She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
