this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
