just come out here and I will go home with you...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
