i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
