It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Never joke about your clitoris.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize