it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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