my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
