yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
