dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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