Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
