he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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