And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize