Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
