Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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