Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
