also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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