he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I need moral support for this bender
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
