This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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