ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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