thus making me awesome and them whores
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
