I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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