he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
