I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
