also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
