When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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