Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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