why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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