i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We need to get me chipped asap
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