Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
