and you said cock pushups were impossible
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
