After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
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It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
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I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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